Valentine’s Day is a day to show the people we love that we appreciate them and honor the love of the relationship. Valentine’s Day is a day for us to show the people we care about that our words and actions of meaning; do mean something!
We all know that Valentines Day has become a day for exchanging cards and giving flowers and gifts. It seems like much of the time in our intimate relationships we focus on the immediate gratification of the gifts, that we lose sight of what is really important. These external acts of appreciation and love are wonderful; but, does this really get to the heart of the matter.
If you are a new couple, a couple whose relationship has lost its way or worse, digressed into a war of the rose’s conflict, I have a suggestion for you. Instead of focusing on the external gifts, why not give a gift to yourself, your partner and your relationship that encompasses your mind, heart and soul.
If you are expecting a gift today, if you are saying to yourself, “What will I receive?” I ask that you change the lens of the glasses you are viewing this day from. Look at Valentines Day as a day for giving meaning and not a day for getting something.
The following is my gift to you on Valentine’s Day. The 5 Attitudes of Empowerment is a tool to re-focus your mind and re-frame the meaning of the day. Read and think of each of the attitudes and for the next 24 hours, apply them to your life and watch the real magic of Valentines happen.
Attitude of Now
The Attitude of Now is the awareness to live in the moment, knowing that you can control only what is happening now. It is a waste of time and energy to try and change the past or control the future. The ability to manage your thoughts, emotions and behaviors to embrace the present moment forms the foundation to remain conscious and appreciate the beauty each day has to offer.
If you are not present today, then where are you? Are you dwelling on thoughts of fear and pain from the past, or are you consumed and overwhelmed with fear and anxiety of the future. If you are not present, if you do not live in the now, how can you ever bring joy into your life? If you are not present, how can you genuinely love yourself and others?
To create a Valentine’s Day of WOW, you must live in the NOW!
Attitude of Gratitude
The Attitude of Gratitude is about being appreciative for who you are, where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, and where you are heading. Are you grateful for everything you have in your life today? When was the last time you were present and stopped to appreciate the sunflowers? When was the last time you looked around and thought, I am a lucky person! I have so much to be thankful for.
Being grateful for what you have opens the door of the universe to bring you all that you truly want. Are you focused on what you do not have? Instead of feeling grateful, sadly, many of us choose to victimize ourselves by engaging in thoughts and feelings of fear, rigidity, chaos, scarcity, lack and envy.
On this Valentine’s Day, allow yourself to be grateful and celebrate what is right in front of you instead of longing for what is behind you or what might lie ahead?
Attitude of Giving
The Attitude of Giving occurs when you are grateful for what you have and are free to give of yourself unconditionally. The attitude of giving is all about being inspired and passionate to give without any AEO’s – agendas, expectations or obligations for anything in return, instead of being focused on what you can receive, deceive, get or take for yourself.
How often do you find yourself focusing more on what people have done for you rather than what you are inspired to do for them? How often do you find yourself wanting to give but something inside holds you back? Have you ever caught yourself resenting someone for what they have failed to give to you, rather than appreciate what they have already given to you? Do you deceive in order to receive or do you give in order to live?
Giving is my favorite attitude because it brings me the greatest joy. I love to say, “It is my mission in life to make you smile.” The intentional attention we must have on others to actually walk our talk with this saying is the gift we give ourselves when we are present and grateful for all that we have.
Beyond material matters, giving here applies to the four essences of our lives—mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. Unconditional giving is the greatest gift you can offer yourself and anyone else in your relationships. The inspiration of living is the found in the joy of giving!
The Attitude of Forgiveness
Unconditional giving leads to forgiveness. The attitude of forgiveness is all about finding inner peace—a peaceful soul. It is the ability to offer and accept unconditional forgiveness.
There is a wise saying, “Un-forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die”. Forgiveness is not about venting denial, blame, accusations, assumptions, defensiveness, resentment, contempt and anger toward ourselves, others or events—all of which become like self-administered poison.
How often do you find yourself projecting resentment, contempt, and anger onto the ones you love? How often are you filled with pain from the past, allowing it to negatively affect your thoughts, emotions and behaviors? Are you currently holding a grudge against someone close to you, and allowing the pollution of un-forgiveness to cloud your mind and poison your soul?
On this Valentine’s Day, I implore you to release the toxicity of resentment and contempt and allow the peace, love and joy of forgiveness to reign.
Attitude of Faith
This simple yet elusive outlook arises from our ability to integrate the first four attitudes into our life.. The attitude of faith is about the presumption of a positive perspective.
The essence of faith is found in the act of surrendering to the safety, certainty and trust of a Higher Power. The definition of a Higher Power is the unique privilege of each individual. It is an attitude of absolute conviction that all of your hopes, dreams, and aspirations will come true. It is an unwavering belief; manifested each day with integrity and intentional focus on your words, actions and behaviors to accomplish your goals.
When we focus on the attitude of faith, we open the door for our chosen Higher Power to present us with opportunities that speak to our inner voice. In turn, we make decisions to stay on our path to fulfill our destiny.
Consider the following questions and challenge yourself to re-frame any negative beliefs in order to decrease resistance and allow peace into your soul, positive energy into your life and love into your heart.
- What could I do differently to be fully present and live in the moment?
- What am I grateful for?
- How can I give of myself unconditionally?
- Who or what do I need to forgive?
- What attitude of faith can I choose to adopt?