I mentioned in a post last week about finishing Brene Brown’s new audio CD, “Men, Women & Worthiness. There is another new distinction I would like to share. The need to change any dis-empowered fear/shame based stories we tell ourselves that cause us to make repetitive decisions regarding how we treat others and ourselves.
The consequences of these reactive decisions manifest situations where we feel irritation, anxiety, disc-connection, confusion, pain, and/or suffering inside of ourselves. Unfortunately, we then project this energy and information onto others; unaware of the negative impact this has on our relationships and the ones involved.
If you choose to begin a process of transformation, I invite you to be mindful of what you might want to focus on to change. Be honest with yourself and examine the narrative of your dis-empowered story and see if any of the following applies.
Do you find that the story you tell yourself leads you to have thoughts of Fear or Courage? Do your emotions reflect Shame or Empathy? Do your words and actions display Blame or Compassion and is the end result Dis-connection or Connection in your relationships?
I believe if we take the time to reflect on certain patterns in our relationships, we will see how our habits of evaluation influences how we make day to day decisions for how we SHOW UP in our relationships.
When we can become vulnerable and self-honoring, we can do the work necessary to transform our dis-empowered stories. This change of habit involves being mindful to shift our intentional focus for how we assign meaning in the moment.
These dramatic decisions will open the pathway to access Courage, Empathy, Compassion and Connection as our base beliefs, which will allow us to show up in a way that our behaviors match our focus. When this occurs, we will be more flexible with others and ourselves and find that we will live a more peaceful, inclusive, loving and joyful life.