The act of surrendering means we let go of our AEO’s. The acronym AEO stands for agendas, expectations and obligations. Think about it. How many times have you created negativity, obstruction, turmoil and conflict in a relationship because of one or more of the following? You had a selfish agenda, an unrealistic expectation or obligated someone to do or not do something that defined the relationship for you?
Surrendering is a state of mind; a new way to SHOW UP in our relationships. It is about being present in the moment and accepting what is with no AEO’s for anything in return. Surrendering is the ultimate in self-empowerment. Surrendering is owning all of our personal power. When we surrender we make the choice to put on a new pair of glasses and look at the world through a different lens.
When we surrender, we make a decision to drop our shield of defensiveness and end the struggle within ourselves and with the person whom we say we love. When we surrender, we do not deny, accuse, blame or assume but choose instead to learn, stretch, change, inspire and contribute.
When we surrender, instead of saying “This is what you need to do for me” we say “What can I do for you.” When we surrender, we have the epiphany that it is not about I, me and mine but about you, us and them. When we surrender, we choose to replace the word “I” with the word “You.” Let me say it in clear and concise terms. “I can’t make it about ME, if I want TO be a WE!”
When we surrender, we give of ourselves unselfishly and unconditionally to do whatever we are humanly capable of doing – regardless of what anyone else says or does. Now of course we would not jump off a bridge if they asked us and we certainly would not stay in relationship if our partner lies, deceives or is abusive. Remember, everything in life is 80-20.
As we know not everything in life turns out the way we want. When it comes to intimate relationships, it takes two people who embrace this new way of thinking, being, doing and loving. If one partner surrenders and the other person stays stuck in their own quicksand of fear, reactivity and AEO’s, then the answers will be clear.
This new perspective is a deep spiritual experience that leads to a dramatic shift in our belief systems. Making the decision to cross over this bridge creates the most freeing feeling ever inside of ourselves. We look, see, think, feel and love in ways we never have before. Why, because we are not sabotaging or blocking ourselves anymore. We have found the key to the door of our toxic emotional bunker. In essence, we got out of our own way.
The act of surrender ends the epic battle we have within ourselves between the forces of fear and love. A fundamental premise of relationships is that fear and love cannot co-exist in the same relationship space. When we are able to hear and listen to our inner voice, we are free to let go of our fears and allow the universe to bring us more than we ever dreamed.
So, the question from the journey is: What do you need to surrender? What AEO’s do you need to let go of to end the inner conflict and bring you to a place of authenticity, a peaceful soul and enjoy an empowered loving relationship?