I
believe there are times when we enter into relationships expecting everything to be smooth, perfect and just the way we want it. This perspective of perfection ~ POP ~ will eventually manifest situations where we feel disappointed, frustrated, defensive, or resentful and maybe even get angry.
When it comes to relationships, there is no such thing as 100%. Life just does not work that way. The best way to avoid this pitfall is to adopt the Law of 80/20. This principle is grounded in the perspective that we are all wonderfully and uniquely perfectly imperfect people.
Hey, we all want everything, this is human nature but when we are looking for 100% we will either consciously or unconsciously create an agenda, impose an expectation and/or attach an obligation onto others or events to say/do or not say/do whatever it is that we are looking for which defines the 100% belief.
Being flexible in the way we view ourselves and others and adaptive to life circumstances is the key. The goal is to live a life where 80% is positive and 20% is negative. The strategy is to intentionally focus on the 80% and make it as joyful as we can and then mindfully manage the 20% so it does not magnify and multiply.
When we do not mindfully manage the negative 20%, we may find the balance of being at 75/25 or worse 50/50. This spillage effect is often seen in couples who begin the honeymoon phase at 99/1 and over time find themselves in the 20/80 camp. Not a fun place to live.
The question is, where is the balance of being in your relationship with yourself, intimate partner, friends, family and in your professional life? If you are below 80% positive, ask yourself if you have adopted some version of a perspective of perfection view of that relationship. Remember, strive for 100 and be grateful for 80!