In the practice of mindfulness, it is said that we have a third eye called our “Mind’s Eye.” Depending on how we choose to focus this enlightened eye, will in large part influence our inner feelings and the choices we make for how we show up in our daily life.
For the purpose of this article, let’s say we have two ways we can choose to focus this illustrious third eye. Also, let’s look at how these choices affect our intimate relationships.
Within the Language of Human Needs, the first three are everyone’s primary needs that must be satisfied at a level eight (on a one to ten scale), 80% of the time in order to have a loving, connected and harmonious relationship.
The first three needs are safety, certainty and trust. You can determine your own score for these needs based on how you answer the following question. “Are You There For Me?” When you think of these three needs and apply them to this question, you may find out that you give them a lower score at this time in your relationship.
If so, the questions becomes, have you shared with your partner your definition or as I like to say, what constitutes deposits for each of your three needs bank. If you don’t know what you need and/or you have not shared this information with your partner, how can he/she make deposits so your account is overflowing?
So, what does all of this have to do with the third eye? Well, if our Minds Eye is focused inward, we will be in an “I “centric frame of focus. When this happens we are prone to be more concerned about ourselves and not others. We are more concerned about what we are receiving instead of what we are giving. We are more focused on envy instead of gratitude. We are more concerned about what the world is doing to us instead of what we are doing for the world.
When our Mind’s Eye is focused inward, it’s all about “ME”. We will dismiss others thoughts and feelings instead of being attuned to them. We will feel more distress and irritation toward others and life circumstances instead of seeking understanding and feeling empathy. From an “I” centric Mind’s Eye, we will react to the flow of life in a way that leads us to numb and distance ourselves instead of nurturing and connecting.
Finally, with our Mind’s Eye focused on the “I” instead of the “WE”, we will manifest stories where we give our power away, where we are a victim to the winds of change and end up creating inner suffrage. This will lead us to make choices that constitute withdrawals from our partner’s banks of safety, certainty and trust.
If you are ready to grow and are inspired to create a relationship where each partners primary needs of safety, certainty and trust are at a level 8, 80% of the time, be mindful of your third eye. Because when we develop a habit of choosing to use the power of our Mind’s Eye in an “I” centric way, we will struggle in the relationship we have with ourselves and with our partner.